The Great Ramen Competition
by Broken Illusion
Summary: The Genins & Shikamaru have been forced into a Ramen Making Competition by their psychotic Jounin teachers. Who knows what weird and wonderful creations they can cook up…
1. The Ramen Competition

**The Great Ramen Competition **

**Chapter 1: The Ramen Competition  
Summary:** The Genins & Shikamaru have been forced into a Ramen Making Competition by their psychotic Jounin teachers. Who knows what weird and wonderful creations they can cook up…  
**Credit:** Co-written & BETA by Demeterr  
**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Naruto, if I did, it'd be called "Sasuke"

* * *

"Ok Genins and Shikamaru, this week Ichiraku Ramen are holding a competition to see who could make the Number One Ramen!!!" announced Iruka "The person who makes the best ramen will be rewarded..." 

"4th prize, a signed copy of Icha Icha Paradise" Kakashi said, holding up a copy of the book with "Jiraiya" scribbled on it, ignoring the fact that was a very obvious 18+ sign on the book.

"3rd prize is a brand new green spandex suit, so your youthful glow will burn brighter than the sun!!! It also comes with a Bonus Gai sticker!!!" yelled Gai while Lee pisses himself in excitement.

"2nd prize, Shikamaru's Chuunin vest, with its Shikamaru-ish features and Shikamaru-like looks, you'll love it!!!" Asuma exclaimed while hugging the vest "Not only that, it also SMELLS like Shikamaru" he added breathing in deeply.

"But it doesn't mean you're a Chuunin, it only means you're a Genin wearing Shikamaru's clothes" Kurenai said.

"…" said Shikamaru.

"And the 1st prize is 100 coupons for Ichiraku Ramen!!!" the Jounins exclaimed crossing their fingers behind their backs.

* * *

"Do we have to enter the competition?" Neji asked. 

"Oh yes, if you don't, you can't enter the Chuunin exams!!!" Gai replied "And it also means, you forfeited and Lee wins!!!"

"Yosh!!! If I can't win against Neji, I'll run 200 laps around Konoha and if I can't do that, I'll do 500 push-ups!!!" Lee cried, tears streaming down his face.

"OH LEE!!!" Gai exclaimed giving him a punch.

"GAI!!!" Lee gasped, as his face began bruising up.

"LEE!!!" Gai said again with outstretched arms.

"GAI!!!" Lee screamed as they leap into each other's arms crying and screaming with youthfulness, as a scene of the sunset fell behind them.

Neji turned around and walked away muttering something about "This is all the main house's fault…"

Tenten sighed, wondering how psychotic this week was gonna turn out to be and why the hell was the sun setting when it was the morning.

* * *

"This is so troublesome" Shikamaru muttered while he stared at the clouds wishing that his teachers weren't so psychotic. 

"Shikamaru, DO THIS FOR YOUR CHUUNIN-NESS!!!" Asuma exclaimed beaming at Shikamaru.

"I'm going to win Shikamaru's vest no matter what," said Chouji with a look determination in his eyes "I'm going to make the BEST RAMEN EVER!!!"

"Chouji, if you made the best ramen ever, you wouldn't get Shikamaru's vest because that's 2nd prize" Ino pointed out.

"Then I'll make the 2ND BEST RAMEN EVER!!!" Chouji corrected.

Shikamaru sighed, wondering how he was going to get his vest back.

* * *

"I fully expect you 3 to win this ramen competition, by looking underneath the underneath" Kakashi said while reading You-Know-What. 

"I'm going to make the best ramen and dedicate it to Sasuke-kun!!!" Sakura said, hoping to impress Sasuke, but of course Sasuke was practically ignoring her.

"_Shannaro!!! I'll force feed Sasuke if I have to!!!_" _shouted Inner Sakura._

"I'm going to beat Sasuke!!! And then take Sakura-chan out to eat with the coupons I won!!!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Hmmph, as if YOU could EVER beat me dobe, I AM the Number ONE rookie" Sasuke smirked waving his "Number One Rookie" badge around.

"I demand you to fight me right now!!! C'mon!!! Bring it on!!!" shouted Naruto.

"Baka Naruto!!! Sasuke can completely beat the crap out of you!!!" yelled Sakura while she bashes the crap out of Naruto.

Kakashi sighed, as he returned to reading Icha Icha Paradise.

* * *

"Alright Akamaru!!!" Kiba yelled "Those coupons would be ours in no time!!!" 

"So Shino, any ideas what kind of ramen you're going to cook?" Kurenai asked.

"Ramen," said Shino.

"What _kind_ of ramen?" repeated Kurenai.

"Ramen."

"Yea, but what flavour?"

"Ramen."

"Ramen mixed with what?"

"Ramen."

"Ok…"

Hinata sighed, wondering what ramen Naruto would like best.

* * *

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	2. Wacky Ramen Recipes

**The Great Ramen Competition **

**Chapter 2: Wacky Ramen Recipes  
Summary:** The Genins & Shikamaru have been forced into a Ramen Making Competition by their psychotic Jounin teachers. Who knows what weird and wonderful creations they can cook up…  
**Credit:** Co-written & BETA by Demeterr  
**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Naruto, if I did, it'd be called "Sasuke".

* * *

As soon as Lee heard that he could win ANOTHER green spandex suit PLUS a bonus Gai sticker, he just knew he HAD to get it.

"Yosh!!! If I can't win this competition, I have to kick the stump 200 times, and if I can't do that, I'll do 500 push-ups with my hands behind my back!!!" Lee yelled as he skipped towards the Curry Shop of Life.

Silly Lee, you can't do push-ups with your hands behind your back.

* * *

"Neji!!! Neji!!! It's dinner time!!! We're having –cough- thebranchhousesucks -cough- Ramen!!!' called Hiashi, giving Neji an evil smirk as he entered the room. 

"We're having the _what_ ramen?" Neji asked in a dangerous tone.

"Ramen," Hiashi answered calmly, unphased by Neji's tone..

Neji gave his evil, evil uncle the most evil, evil glare there was in this whole evil, evil world.

Whoa, too many evils.

Hiashi chose to ignore the glare and returned to his ramen.

DING!!! A light bulb appeared above Neji's head.

"Excuse me, I have some ramen to make…" Neji said as he left the room with a grin that only screamed out evil.

* * *

Tenten the boring girl, sat at her favourite training spot wondering what kind of ramen she was going to make. Tenten knew she was boring. The only thing special thing about her was the fact her name had 2 "tens" in it.

2 "tens" eh?

Tenten grinned to herself.

Better get started on that ramen.

* * *

Shikamaru was looking at the clouds. Making ramen was so troublesome, he thought to himself. He closed his eyes and rolled over muttering "curse ramens…" before falling asleep.

So much for an IQ of 200.

* * *

Chouji sat at his favourite restaurant (y'know the one with the grills on the table and you can cook the meat yourself.) when Asuma came in to join him. 

"So Chouji, have you started working on your ramen yet?" Asuma asked, while helping himself to a piece of meat.

"No, I can't decide what flavour ramen I like best, cow, pork or chicken" answered Chouji, snatching back the piece of meat from Asuma.

"Well, you know, you could always have all 3," suggested Asuma.

"Great idea!!! I'm going to get started, Bye!!!" Chouji exclaimed, leaving the restaurant.

Asuma looked down at the table in front of him. There were still 3 plates piled with meat left. Well, _someone_ has to finish it off, and there was no one else there but him.

Just as Asuma was about to take his first bite of meat, Chouji snatched it out of his hand.

"I'll start cooking AFTER my lunch" Chouji said, looking accusingly at Asuma and protecting his precious meat.

* * *

Ino was in love. All she could think about was Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke and some more Sasuke. 

She loved the way he walked and talked.

She loved his hair and the way he didn't care.

She loved his clothes, his smell and especially loved his peni - _Interruption Ahem, Earth to Ino, Earth to Ino, we're talking about RAMEN here._

Oh yea that's right.

Ino was walking along wondering what kind of ramen she was going to make. Of course her ramen had to have _something_ to do with Sasuke. That's when an idea hit her.

* * *

Sakura was in love. All she could think about was Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke and some more Sasuke.

She loved the way he walked and talked.

She loved his hair and the way he didn't care.

She loved his clothes, his smell and especially loved his peni - _Interruption Ahem, Earth to Sakura, Earth to Sakura, we're talking about RAMEN here. _

Oh yea that's right.

Sakura was walking along wondering what kind of ramen she was going to make. Of course her ramen had to have _something_ to do with Sasuke. That's when an idea hit her.

Oh gee Sakura, Stop copying Ino!!!

* * *

Sasuke was sitting on his bed polishing his Number One Rookie badge. He liked it how it's shiny and prettyful, and how Naruto gets jealous everytime he sees it.

But that wasn't the only thing Sasuke was proud of.

Sasuke was an Uchiha. And he HAD to prove to everyone how good Uchiha's were. I must make the best ramen and win the competition, Sasuke thought. He went to his videos and selected: _Finest Ramen Chefs. _

He turned the video on and switched on his Sharingan.

There was _no way_ he could lose.

* * *

Kiba was feeding Akamaru.

"Akamaru, what kind of ramen should I make?" Kiba asked, while stroking Akamaru.

"Woof, woof" Akamaru answered between mouthfuls of food.

"Ewww, that's disgusting!!!" Kiba exclaimed "No one eats that stuff!!!"

"Woof, woof" said Akamaru, giving Kiba a dirty look.

"Ok, maybe _you_ do….but still….Oh alright!!!"

Kiba went to Akamaru's room to collect the ingredients

* * *

Hinata wanted to make the best ramen, but it wasn't for the competition, it was for Naruto. If she won, her ramen will be on Ichiraku's menu and Naruto could eat it EVERYDAY. It would make her ever so happy.

"_Oh Hinata-san, thank you sooooo much for making this absolutely wonderful ramen!!!" Naruto said giving Hinata a BIG hug._

_Hinata blushed and almost passed out._

"_I wish you could make me ramen EVERYDAY, I know, Hinata, Will you marry me?" Naruto asked on his knees, looking up at Hinata lovingly_.

"_O-of course" Hinata replied as they leant towards each other slowly so that Naruto's face was inches from her own, his lips, even closer_…….

Hinata shook herself awake. She was beginning to daydream more and more. Better get started on that ramen, she thought smiling shyly to herself.

* * *

Naruto was worried. He had NO idea what in the world he was going to cook. Not only that, he was a bad cook. And he was running out of time – fast. His ramen was due tomorrow and he was panicking. The week had been completely packed with missions and he had managed to convince himself that he'd already won and was dreaming of ramen every night. Until reality was brought back down to him when he figured out the competition ended tomorrow. Than the nightmares begun. 

_It always began the same way. Naruto was swimming around happily in a giant bowl of ramen, eating the mega-sized noodles and splashing around in the soup. When he got tired he would lie on a naruto that was floating pass and Sakura-chan would be there to give him a massage. _

_She would always say nice things like "Naruto you're so handsome" or "I love you sooooo much more than that stupid Sasuke"._

_But today she said "Naruto, what ramen are you making? Sasuke's making the BEST ramen ever". _

_Shocked, Naruto answered, "Why would I make ramen? I could just go to Ichiraku Ramen, and even if I DID make ramen it would be sooooo much better than Sasuke's"_

_Sakura pushed him away "You've forgotten haven't you?" she said glaring at Naruto._

"_Forgotten what?" Naruto asked completely unfazed. This WAS his dream after all, what was there to be afraid of?_

"_That whoever made the best ramen will get my hand in marriage!!!" Sakura shouted, punching Naruto in the face._

_When Naruto came to himself, he wasn't in a giant bowl of ramen anymore. He was in a church at Sasuke and Sakura's wedding!!!_

"_Sakura, do you accept Sasuke as your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister was saying._

"_I do" Sakura said, smiling at Sasuke. _

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Naruto wailed his hands over his face. Suddenly the church disappeared to be replaced by 100 ramen coupons fluttering around him chanting repeatedly over and over again "No more ramen, No more Sakura, No more ramen, No more Sakura…." Naruto chased after them, trying to catch them but never succeeding._

_The ramen coupons started attacking him. Naruto ran away but he couldn't get away from them……_

Naruto woke up sweating. He can't live without ramen. He can't let Sakura marry Sasuke. What in the world was he going to make? Than the most ridiculous idea hit him….yes….maybe he could _just_ pull it off. It was going to take a lot of effort making, but who cares? As long as he gets to eat ramen and marry Sakura.

* * *

Silence. 

Shino remained seated, the slightest of frowns marring his forehead. Finally he rose to pick up a book before flipping through it.

_Ramen (rä m n) noun _

_A Japanese dish of noodles in broth, often garnished with small pieces of meat and vegetables._

_A thin white noodle served in this dish._

Without saying a word he closed the book and placed it back neatly on the bookshelf. _Ramen_, he thought to himself.

Silence.

* * *

**Review Please :D**


	3. Itadakimasu Pt1

**The Great Ramen Competition **

**Chapter 3: Itadakimasu Pt. 1  
Summary:** The Genins & Shikamaru have been forced into a Ramen Making Competition by their psychotic Jounin teachers. Who knows what weird and wonderful creations they can cook up…  
**Credit:** Co-written & BETA by Demeterr  
**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Naruto, if I did, it'd be called "Sasuke".

* * *

The big day had arrived. The day for the Ramen judging. 

The 11 Genins and Shikamaru headed towards Ichiraku Ramen where they were told their ramen's would be judged. They met Gai, Asuma and Kurenai there, and as expected, Kakashi was late as always.

"Yosh!!! We shall begin without Kakashi!!! Which means I win and it's now 59 – 58!!!" Gai exclaimed happily as Kakashi came around the corner.

"Yo, Did I miss anything?" Kakashi asked while reading his book, "I had to help a pregnant women get to a hospital"

Everyone rolled their eyes at Kakashi. Kakashi didn't care.

While Gai was crying because he didn't win, the Jounins explained how their ramen's were going to be judged.

"It's going to be judged by a TASTE TEST!!!" the Jounins exclaimed childishly "But it's not going to be tasted just by anyone, you lucky Genins (and Shikamaru) gets to taste each other's ramen!!!".

"You'll wear blindfolds so you won't know what kind oframen you'll tasting, Hinata and Neji are _not_ allowed to use their Byakugan and Kiba must wear a nose peg" stated Kakashi.

"Awwww" said Hinata, Kiba and Neji, but of course Neji only said it in his head.

"We will take it in turns by picking names out of these 2 hats, the red hat will be the ramen and the blue hat will be the person tasting the ramen" explained Asuma.

"Than the Genin (and Shikamaru) who tasted the ramen must rate it out of 10, it must be done TRUTHFULLY or you will be disqualified, you will tell us what you thought about the ramen AFTER everyone has tasted their ramen" added Kurenai.

"What if you don't _care_ about the competition and _want_ to be disqualified?" asked Neji.

"Do you want to be a Chuunin?" Gai threatened.

Neji rolled his eyes (In my little world, Neji DOES have pupils) and glared at Gai sulkily.

Let the Judging begin!!!

* * *

Kakashi picked a name out of the red hat 

"Neji is going to be tasting Lee's ramen…"

Neji paled. Whatever Lee made wasn't going to have a positive effect on him.

Everyone was silent as Neji put on his little blindfold and ate a bit of ramen.

-Silence-

A crow squawks overhead (Aho! Aho! Aho!)

Neji's face went bright red and steam came out of his ears. Then just before he passed out he muttered "Curse the Main House…."

-More Silence-

"OMG NEJI!!!" screamed Gai, breaking the silence as he rushed over to Neji's lifeless body and begins weeping.

So while Kurenai was calling the Medic Nins, Gai was busy sobbing, Kakashi went on with the taste test.

"Ha eyebrows! You're gonna lose!" Naruto accused gleefully.

"I'm not going to lose!" Lee said arrogantly. Wow. Just thin out the eyebrows, grow out his hair, change the shape of his eyes and he could almost be like Sasuke. No. No. No. I wasn't being serious, I was just saying he was being arrogant like Sasuke.

There was a pause as the competitiveness of the two rose.

"You can't have Gai's spandex!" "You can't have Sakura!" both shouted at the same time.

Awkward silence. o.O

"Well I don't want another pair of spandex," Naruto recovered first.

"Yea, well I don't want Sakura," Lee said in the same manner.

More awkward silence. o.O

"No wait... no... Yea I meant what I said," Lee corrected himself.

"Yea well I don't want Sakura either," Naruto declared, as not to be outdone. He continued on, "I only seem to like Sakura because the main authoress has nothing else to write in my parts of the story."

Extremely awkward silence. o.O

Lee looked blank, his mind slowly progressing what Naruto just said.

Naruto was not as blank, as he realized his mistake and hastily covered for it. "I am going to win Gai's spandex," he declared, blue eyes looking shiftily around.

Lee's attention diverted immediately as his eyes burned with the flames of youth. Now if only he used that flame to cook his ramen... then it would be really spicy. But then Neji would be dead, and we can't have that because his hair hasn't become long and prettyful.

* * *

"In the red hat we have Sakura's ramen, which is going to be tasted by…..." 

"Ino"

"Why does _Ino_ get to taste my ramen!?" "Why do I have to taste _Sakura's_ ramen!?" complained Sakura and Ino, glaring at Kakashi.

After several more moments of heated arguing, which will pass all in one sentence, Ino decided to be rational and try Sakura's ramen.

Blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I think you gave me the wrong ramen, this is mine," Ino remarked.

Sakura shoved her aside, reaching for a spoon and chopsticks. "Like hell it is. Don't compare your garbage to my magnificence Ino-pig!" Sakura sneered, trying some of the ramen.

"Shut up forehead girl. That is my ramen since I cooked it with all my love of Sasuke-kun," Ino retorted.

"As if!"

And the squabbling continued.

* * *

The names were drew out of the hat again. 

"This time we have Ino's ramen, and Sakura shall taste it…"

Now could the readers be kind enough to read the part above, but switch Ino and Sakura around. Thank-you.

* * *

"And now Shino will try Chouji's ramen," declared one of the jounin teachers. 

"…" Guess who that was. I'll give you a clue, it is either Shino or Chouji. Obviously Shino. Duh.

"What?" asked Asuma.

"…" Shino repeated.

"Oh he says that there isn't any ramen for him to try," Kiba translated.

The others look at Kiba blankly. "He didn't say anything," Asuma said slowly.

Kiba looked puzzled, "Yea he did… never mind, he says there is one noodle left in the bowl," he shrugged.

As Shino reached for the chopsticks, the bowl was snatched viciously away from him.

"You can't have the last noodle strand, since it is the best piece," Chouji accused, hugging the bowl to his chest.

"…" was Shino's response.

"Then I shall duel you for the noodle. Get out your Yu-Gi-Oh cards!" Kiba declared.

An awkward pause.

"Just kidding!" Kiba said brightly.

But no one was listening to him; instead they were all huddled in a little circle.

"Can Kiba really understand Shino?" they whispered to each other.

Chouji took this time to devour the last noodle.

Shino as always, was indifferent.

* * *

"And next we have Hinata tasting Kiba's ramen" 

"Alright!!! Hinata, you're gonna love my ramen!!!" Kiba exclaimed.

Hinata obediently put her blindfold on and took a bite.

There was a pause.

"Anou…Anou….Kiba-kun are y-you s-sure this is r-ramen?" Hinata stammered, her face turning slightly green.

"Sure I'm sure" Kiba said brightly, "Akamaru likes it, do you like it?"

"I-It's unique" Hinata answered trying not to pass out. She had to finish this ramen or she'll upset Kiba.

The others watched her _force_ herself to eat mouthfuls of _dog food _with looks of disgust and pity.

Kurenai went and called the medic-nins feeling very sorry for Hinata.

Hinata finished the last bit of ramen. By now her face was a sickly green.

"How was it Hinata, how was it!!!" Kiba asked nudging Hinata with enthusiasm.

"I-I-It's g-great…." Hinata managed to mutter before passing out completely.

"Whoo Hoo!!! Did you hear that Shino!?!? She thinks it's great!!!" Kiba cheered before noticing the unconscious Hinata, "Hinata? Hinata!! Are you ok? Wake up!!!"

The medic-nins dragged Kiba off Hinata and carted her off to the hospital.

"How am I going to explain to Hiashi-sama that both his daughter and his nephew are in hospital because they were eating ramen…" asked Kurenai looking to the other jounins for help only to find them avoiding eye-contact with her and announcing the next taste test…

* * *

"Next we have Naruto tasting Tenten's ramen…" 

"Ossa!!! It's finally my turn!!! Ramen!! Ramen!! Ramen!!" Naruto chanted gleefully and leapt in front of Tenten's ramen before becoming profoundly disappointed.

"Anou…Anou…there's no ramen here!!!" Naruto wailed glaring at Tenten.

"Yes there is!!!" said Tenten going over to Naruto and taking the chopsticks from him.

Tenten picked out the strands of ramen one by one, then carefully and laid them on the table.

"One"

"Two"

"Three"

"Four"

Tenten fumbles with the chopsticks.

"Five"

"Six"

"Seven"

"Eight"

"Nine…"

"OH NO!!! IT'S MISSING A STRAND!!!" Tenten screamed and begin to cry.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "What the hell?"

"The tenth strand…" Tenten gasped between her sobs.

"The tenth strand..?" Naruto repeated.

"THE TENTH STRAND!!!" Tenten screamed into his face before sobbing into her hands.

Naruto patted her back awkwardly, trying to calm her down.

"It's Ok Tenten, nine strands is good…"

"But it's not the same!!! It was suppose to be TEN strands so it'd be like my name, TENTEN"

"Don't worry Tenten, Nine is good too…" Naruto said with a strained smile on his face still trying to comfort the poor girl.

"NARUTO!!! IS MY NAME NINENINE??? NO!!! IT'S TENTEN!! T-E-N-T-E-N!!! TENTEN!!!" Tenten yelled bursting into a fresh flow of tears.

Naruto backed away from her. Sheesh, Tenten was scary when she's mad.

So while Tenten screamed at Naruto, the jounins decided to move on to the next taste test…

* * *

Ideas for more ramen flavours are more then welcomed. 

**Review Please :D**


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